19 Seconds

I have a friend that writes the most incredible songs. The biggest reason I find them so incredible is that she has the ability (and courage) to write songs about the things that are not so bright and shiny in our lives. Her music forces us to look within ourselves at the place that gives us pain because she knows that facing it is the only way to overcome it.

It inspired me to make the same attempt with my work. To reach inside myself and tell a story with paint that my own voice did not have the courage to tell. '19 Seconds' is the painting that was the result. It is all about the pain and regret of not having the courage to make a connection that is really important. Regardless of the outcome of that connection, not having the courage to even try yields far more pain and regret.

I chose the old 1980's phone to represent my youth. It sits unconnected on a teak desk that we also had in the house as I was growing up. The frame of this painting is also solid teak to echo the painting.

Finally the title for this painting comes from the 2011 movie 'We Bought a Zoo'. In that movie, actor Matt Damon's character describes a philosophy that he lives by. The idea is that all he need is 20 seconds of courage with anything that needs to be done. He puts aside all doubts and fears for only twenty seconds when faced with a challenge. More times than not that is all the time that is required. Since this painting examines my lack of courage in similar situations, I named it 19 seconds. I wonder if I had only found the courage for a few seconds more how different my life might have been.